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Back You are here: Home Reports from Real Life Oh, The Things We've Seen! Reviews Holiday Horror: Top 6 Movies to Watch On Valentine's Day
Sunday, 13 February 2011 07:12

Holiday Horror: Top 6 Movies to Watch On Valentine's Day

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Valentine's Day. It's copiously commercialized, atrociously unavoidable, and just so fucking... pink. While most people are out at fancy restaraunts, eating food they can't afford and watching flowers wilt, some of us... aren't. Here's a quick list of slashers for those of us who would rather stay home, a little bitter, a little bored, or just in the mood for a different shade of red.

The Loved Ones (2010): Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. And Lola wants Brent. This quirky, diabolical little Australian flick goes off the deep end exploring what it means to be 16 and in love. When Lola finds out the object of her desire already has a date to the school prom, she creates one of her own: complete with pink satin, glitter, a nail gun. And she makes bloody well sure he attends.


My Bloody Valentine (1981/2009): Originally filmed in the hayday of Holiday Horror and since remade in 3D, My Bloody Valentine reigns king of this list, and will forever. Harry Warden is the sole survivor of a devistating mining accident that could have been avoided, had the mines security officers not been attending the town's annual Valentine's party. 20 years later, the party is back on... and Harry Warden wouldn't be caught dead missing it. 


Valentine (2001): Another that seems to have been made in the specifically for this list. As Valentine's draws near, four friends start recieving cards from a stalker, and begin being picked off one-by-one by a cherub-masked killer. When they realize their stalker is someone from their past, they realize too that this Valentine's is going to be a killer. 


High Tension (2003): Originally filmed in French and redubbed in English, High Tension (or Haute Tension,) is a story of two girls who encounter a brutal maniac in rural France. Alexia's family is slaughtered, and she's dragged from her home. It's up to her friend Marie to save her life. High Tension is a grotesque diagram of love, lust, and revenge. I don't have a pun for this one, it's just pretty fucking good, alright?


The Bride of Chucky (1998): The only thing worse than a psychotic murder doll... is his psychotic girlfriend. The loveable serial killer formerly Charles Lee Ray, but now known as only Chucky, is revived by his loyal ex, Tiffany. Tiffany is dead-set on marriage, but Chucky has something else in mind entirely. Their honeymoon horrorshow a little weird, a little fun, and completely insane.


Candyman (1992): While most people will end up sick to their stomach from their fill of candy this Valentine's Day, you might be better off getting a little sick in the head instead. Helen Lyle decides to delve into the legend of the Candyman, who is said to appear when his name is said five times in front of a mirror. She decides to test the myth, and begins learning the horrible truth about bees. Oh, and Candyman. 

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Last modified on Thursday, 15 March 2012 18:30

Six is a creep. She has no biography and only knows two jokes.

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